Zak's Perspective

So this is just how i feel about the happenings of the past few years and especially the last few days as i see it. No, I'm not an expert on military strategy, Sri Lankan history, the ethnic conflict/civil war or for that matter the rights and wrongs of a bloody end.
I'm 23 now and i grew up learning to fear the tigers.
The streets of Colombo were never safe and mom used to always ask me to be vigilant and careful when i started using the public transportation in getting to College at the age of 12. There's the Central bank bomb of 1996, Jan 31st. My 10th birthday. Here i was finally getting to double figures, but all i felt was fear and more tragically hopelessness. My friends mom died in that bomb. I want to ask her how she feels about all this, but fear that it might be just too painful for her.And there are millions like her, generations... around this country.My earliest memory of the LTTE was at the age of 4 or 5 i think. I remember my Grandad coming home and mentioning that ''4 or 5 tigers were on the roof of the Fort railway station''Me being me, and so young at that immediately pictured 4 or 5 ''4 legged Siberian tigers'' on the roof of the fort railway station about attack and eat innocent commuters.That was scary! as a 4 year old it was more scary than having armed terrorists shooting at people from high up. I think i breathed a sigh of relief when i realized this was a ''code name'' for a band of armed terrorist... what a relief!
I still remember the fear and hopelessness that engulfed me as a kid. And i was one one of the lucky one's in Colombo! The rumours and speculation that this War will never end. That it was not a safe country for a young man to be if the government decided to use mandatory recruitment into the military. So i grew up wanting to leave my Country. And at times this wasn't even my country. I looked at it as a cursed woman who could never bear a child.But this is... my country. And through the years, especially during the last 4 to 5 years i have learnt to love this country and more so fallen in love with this country.I wouldn't say that i am well traveled. But after seeing a couple of Places outside of my country, it enraged to me to see how my people and countrymen were suffering and yet so many others around the world were living it up.Especially the kids... If there were something called the ''Hope'' Index, Kids from countries like Singapore, Malaysia and others close to us could boast of a much better reading on the ''Hope'' Index.I felt jealous... i really did....7,8,9 and 10 year olds so upbeat and with so much hope in life... and yet back in my War ravaged country there are so many who could not dream of a better existence.
Either way, this is why i am Proud as a Sri Lankan today. My sons and the sons of my sons will have more than a dream of a better nation. There is now a window of opportunity.Something that i never enjoyed as a kid growing up in Sri Lanka. Wanting to leave your country your whole life is pretty shitty.But today i rejoice for there is 'hope' that millions of unborn kids will have a better nation to call their home.I can't help myself... i have a wide grin on my face.
''Only a crisis, actual or perceived brings about real change - Milton Friedman''
Sometimes people tend to interpret my over-zealousness as Blindness to the reality of what needs to be done.This couldn't be more wrong. I know that there is much be done. So many lives to rebuild. The economy. Infrastructure. Resettling IDP's. Healing the emotional wounds.But the fact is, I'm happy... proud as hell and I'm overwhelmed with emotion when i look at my National Flag.
People tend to also call me a Armchair Soldier. Talking of things that i have no right to talk of. Now I'm not an Aid worker, volunteer, soldier or politician.But i do work in the private sector. My Company pays taxes, i pay taxes, taxes which are used to feed the military who in turn have protected me for the past 23 years.I respect them and credit them with doing a hell of a job! May they bask in the glory of this moment..... they deserve it!
Got mom to make Kiribath today. This is the first time i made a special request to do so in a very long time.
Let's enjoy this moment. But remember that we need to get our act together in the coming years. In many ways, this appears to be a bigger Challenge than the one we've just managed to overcome.